Mommy, What are you doing?

Mommy, what are you doing?

My two-year-old chirps for the 4000th time. She’s arrived at the ‘why’ stage a bit early, but nonetheless enthusiastic. I feel as if I am living in an old-fashioned flip book, each of my movements are met with the questions “What are you doing?” and “What’s that?”
The developmental nerd in me rejoices at her curiosity, knowing how meticulous she is at building her knowledge base about the world around her. Just this week she has announced that her favorite color is pink (Lord help me), and she has mastered the decision-making method of Ee-Knee-Me-Knee-My-Knee-Mow. Her advanced proclivities for expressing her mind leave me cackling at the pure innocence and proper syntax on a daily basis.
Then there’s the other part of me. The part that doesn’t dawn the professional hat and steps away from the education well. The part that is so privy to distraction. Think about this bill, toy about what to do with this relationship. Don’t look out the window too long or that existential dread of what our world is becoming might swallow me whole. How will we make the calendar work?

How will it all work?

Maybe children are onto something with this whole verbal processing thing. Perhaps we as adults have become way too internalized about tending to processed information. We exist in such a ‘hush’ culture, it wouldn’t surprise me if our mute nature about the things that actually matter are derived from the utmost craving to play the part and fit in.

My daughter is not destined to fit in.

She was born into a world where her voice will be her most powerful tool. To fit in is to accept defeat, and her light is much too bright to be snuffed out because others’ egos that are much too fragile.

Insert loud eye roll here.

I have had enough with the egos. The delicate egos that grip onto crooked power to ensure their selfish safety. The ones who would greatly benefit from proper therapy, however their fear overrules their abilities to sit in the greater good that would come about from their discomfort in the growing pains.

Growing pains are the key to our best selves.

I always tell folks in the therapy room that growing pains don’t only exist within our legs. Those are just the most tangible pangs of discomfort. To live is to commit to evolution. Pathology arises from our balking at what comes with the humanness territory. When we resist change, we resist healing. We resist the authenticity that pairs with accountability. The wisdom that comingles with humility. We are all destined to be humpty dumpty. Rise, fall, break, evolve. Rise and repeat.

Mommy, what are you doing?
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I am evolving with you, my little love. Let’s lean into those growing pains together, and know you are never alone.